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San Francisco Cynicism (lyrics by Marjorie Sturm)

from Next door to the Jefferson Airplane: 341 Willard North by Ernesto Diaz-Infante

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lyrics

Surrounded in this city
By people with a lack of purpose
I'm sure most would cough back their cappuccinos
If you gave them a cause to die for

Stripped bare, we're all scared
What a long hike ahead of us
All of this investigation
An unstable, unsteady treacherously slow
Spiritual ascent towards...
Towards...

Do you have the right sexy San Francisco style?
Sleek, slim, fast enough?
Are you oozing, alluding, deluding
That all you want to do is get naked in bed?
On the streets
The eyes meet.

We are unfolding like grand carpets
And who will march on top of us?
We are unravelling like balls of string
And who will play with us?
We are transcending our cultures,
Seeking the source
And simultaneously finding it difficult
To get to the post office
To buy stamps

Oh, the horror of it all!
That pragmatic paralysis that lets us
View our lives for what they really are
Sitting alone on icebergs with frozen fingertips
We begin again.
What will distract me from my discipline?
My unstable, unsteady treacherously slow
Spiritual ascent towards...
Towards...

A joint. A beer. A cigarette.
A sleek, silk shirt for the seduction
Give me sexual distraction
I want some immediate satisfaction
I need some immediate satisfaction

We shop until we drop and
We're all in high school again
"There were lots of pretty people there
reading Rolling Stone, reading Vogue."
Ah, but at least now there is an edge.
We are saved from living lives as wind-up toys
Even if we too break down occasionally

All eyes on me
The energy-attention fills me
The sound of applause fills me
Clap Clap Clap
I pig out on this
Or walk away with self-degrading thoughts

I think I love you
I think I really do
But forever exhaust me
Turns me black, then brown, then yellow, then pale
I see no movement, no mania, just mothers

Don't tire me with your truths
I am delighted in my delusions
I will get to where I am going,
And I don't care if I arrive on time

©Marjorie Sturm

credits

from Next door to the Jefferson Airplane: 341 Willard North, released August 1, 2003

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Ernesto Diaz-Infante image

Ernesto Diaz-Infante San Francisco, California

Ernesto Diaz-Infante’s musical compositions span a broad perspective: transcendental piano, noise, improvised music, avant- garde guitar, field recordings, and experimental song. He received his MFA from CalArts in Music Composition, where he studied with Stephen L. Mosko and Wadada Leo Smith. He lives in San Francisco with filmmaker Marjorie Sturm and their son and daughter. ... more

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